I’ve been coaching my son’s rugby team for four exciting years, and I must say that being a parent coach can be both rewarding and challenging at times. Coaching emphasises building strong relationships, but the bond between a parent and child is certainly different from the connection between a coach and the athletes.
Over the years, I’ve found it challenging to balance the expectations of the team with those of my son. It’s essential to ensure that every player on the team is treated fairly regarding practice and playing time, avoiding any favoritism toward my son.
I’ve found this aspect to be the most difficult, as I am always aware of the other parents around me. This concern can lead to prioritizing the needs of other players over my child’s. However, there are effective ways to manage these challenges.
It’s important to understand that, as a parent-coach, there are two completely separate relationships at play. To be a good coach to your child and their teammates, you cannot act as your child’s parent during practice and on game days. Likewise, to be a good parent, you must not bring your coaching role home with you. (That’s easier said than done!)
Here are some ways to manage these two different relationships:
1. **At practice or game day, you are the coach – not dad or mom.** This helps to reinforce the coach-athlete boundary, demonstrating to your child’s teammates that there is no special treatment.
2. **Don’t underplay or overplay your child.** This can be challenging. You need to be objective in determining whether your child deserves more or less playing time than their teammates. Having a policy regarding equal playing time can help in your decision-making.
3. **Avoid discussing sports at home unless your child brings it up first.** Treat car rides or time at home as family time, allowing for conversations about other topics.
4. **Leave practice and results in the past.** What happens at practice or on game day should stay there. Sometimes your child may feel disappointed about a result or find practice challenging. Be the supportive parent who encourages and uplifts them.
Whether your are parent - coach or coaching professional, there is a level of expecations that you have to manage. These expectations comes in the form of:
Parent Expectations - This can be very tricky as parents have an invested interest in their child and may look for special treatment, may want to have influence on team descisions or in most cases parents may think the child is a special talent.
As the coach its important that set out parents guidlines at the start of the season,educate parent on sport development and get the involved in coaching and the team by running warm ups or in charge of kit.
Managing Team and Your Expectations - As the coach important to know and understand what level or age group you are coaching. By doing this you will be able to set out team goals, philisophies and standards for your team. You do want your team to perform at the best of the ability, but its important to focus on the process not the outcome and make sure that you continually promote skills development and enjoyment.
Your Child Expectations - As mention earlier, when coaching your child the are two relationships at play. At home your child my have your undivided attention, but on the practice field or on game day you are the coach and you have to turn your attention to all players in the team. Its important that your child is held and abide by the same standards and rules of the team.
Despiste these unique challenges and expectation, I must say its a joy to coach your child. To have the opportunity to see them grow, develop as players and people, and to a share passion for a sport that you love can only create a strong bond between you and your child.
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